o zi fara titlu

Ma gandesc, acum in puterea noptii, ca e asa de diferit fara tine in viata mea. Si nu zic asta in sensul bun. Subconstientul meu revine la salbaticia momentului primordial, inainte de-a fi noi doi, amandoi, si acele zile sau ani, nu-mi sunt deloc amintiri placute; crime, ucideri, omoruri, torturi, singuratati, perversiuni, drogate, abandonate, mediocre, banale, flamande, agasate, anapoda, haotice, salbatice, sinucigase. Cosmar din nou cand nu esti langa mine. Pardon! Cand eu ma las de tine.

Am gasit si-o poezie. E scrisa de Amena Brown.

For to long,

I’ve been loving you from a distance

because i was afraid of your silence,

because your silence speaks to me

more deeply than any words could ever say

because i was afraid of who i would be

when i was alone with you

because i didn’t want to be rejected.

For so long,

I’ve been loving you from a distance

holding myself hostage to the sound of you

running away from the thought of you

loving me so deeply

that i would lose myself

and never be able to find

who i used to be

For so long,

I’ve been trying to love you from a distance

but i can’t even survive without you.

You are not only the air i breath,

you are the lungs i breath with and without you

there is this vacant void

that causes me to collapse

at the very center of who i am

and that’s what i mean

when i say you’re breathtaking

You cared for me with a gentleness

that made me want to love you

more than i ever thought possible

and i want to give all my heart to you

even though i have no idea what that feels like

You love me

privately

publicly

lonely

lovely

or ugly.

And I want to give you the keys

to every room in this house  i call my heart.

and that means nothing

is off limits to you.

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